Say Kate can I ask you a question
Sure
Well you know Trekkie Monster upstairs
Uh huh
Well he's Trekkie Monster
and you're Kate Monster
Right
You're both Monsters
Yeah
Are you two related
What Princeton
I'm surprised at you
I find that racist
Oh well I'm sorry I was just asking
Well it's a touchy subject
No not all Monsters are related
What are you trying say huh
That we all look the same to you
No no no not at all
Huh huh huh
I'm sorry
I guess that was a little racist
I should say so
You should be much more
careful when you're talking about the
sensitive subject of race
Well look who's talking
What do you mean
What about that special
Monster School you told me about
What about it
Could someone like me go there
No we don't want people like you
You see
You're a little bit racist
Well you're a little bit too
I guess we're both a little bit racist
Admitting it is not an easy thing to do
But I guess it's true
Between me and you
I think
Everyone's a little bit racist
Sometimes
Doesn't mean we go
Around committing hate crimes
Look around and you will find
No one's really color blind
Maybe it's a fact
We all should face
Everyone makes judgments
Based on race
Now not big judgments like who to hire
or who to buy a newspaper from
No
No just little judgments like thinking that Mexican
busboys should learn to speak
goddamn English
Right
Everyone's a little bit racist
Today
So everyone's a little bit racist
Okay
Ethinic jokes might be uncouth
But you laugh because
They're based on truth
Don't take them as
Personal attacks
Everyone enjoys them
So relax
All right stop me if you've heard this one
Okay
There's a plan going down and there's only
one paracute And there's a rabbi a priest
And a black guy
Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Kate
Uh
You were telling a black joke
Well sure Gary
but lots of people tell black jokes
I don't
Well of course you don't you're black
But I bet you tell Polack jokes right
Well sure I do Those stupid Polacks
Now don't you think that's a little racist
Well damn
I guess you're right
You're a little bit racist
Well you're a little bit too
We're all a little bit racist
I think that I would
Have to agree with you
We're glad you do
It's sad but true
Everyone's a little bit racist
All right
All right
All right
All right
Bigotry has never been
Exclusively white
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit
Even though we all know
That it's wrong
Maybe it would help us
Get along
Oh Christ do I feel good
Now there was a fine upstanding black man
Who
Jesus Christ
But Gary Jesus was white
No Jesus was black
No Jesus was white
No I'm pretty sure that Jesus was black
Guys guys Jesus was Jewish
Hey guys what are you laughing about
Racism
Cool
BRIAN Come back here
You take out lecycuraburs
What's that mean
Um recyclables
Hey don't laugh at her
How many languages do you speak
Oh come off it Brian
Everyone's a little bit racist
I'm not
Oh no
Nope
How many Oriental wives
Have you got
What Brian
Brian buddy where you been
The term is Asian American
I know you are no
Intending to be
But calling me Oriental
Offensive to me
I'm sorry honey
I love you
And I love you
But you're racist too
Yes I know
The Jews have all
The money
And the whites have all
The power
And I'm always in taxi cab
With driver who no shower
Me too
Me too
I can't even get a taxi
Everyone's a little bit racist
It's true
But everyone is just about
As racist as you
If we all could just admit
That we are racist a little bit
And everyone stopped being
So PC
Maybe we could live in
Harmony
Evlyone's a ritter bit lacist