Heard all about you through a friend's friend
Said "You were stuck up, but you have nice teeth"
You barely show 'em 'cause your mouth says
"Haven't worn my retainer in three hundred weeks"
Heard that your exes are all obsessed, and
You don't go without a book to read
You barely talk unless you're impressed
And your voice when you sing sounds just like Phoeb's
So, if you spilled your drink on a brand-new couch
Well, I'd take all of the blame
And if you broke some vase with a priceless face
I'd offer up to pay, though realistically, I'm broke
And honestly would rather prefer
That you just decide to pay for it yourself
Would you stay with me, miss Misery?
If you don't like to hold hands, we could never
Don't even have to smile while we're together
Would you stay with me, miss Misery?
If you don't like to dance, then, I'll remember
Don't even have to be friends for forever
You said I'm runner-up for best dressed
Got me blushing so hard that I forgot to speak
You looked away to just ignore the awkward silence
Now I'm pretty damn sure that I'll be losing sleep
But if you spilled your drink on a brand-new couch
Well, I'd take all of the blame (Take all of the—)
And if you broke some vase with a priceless face
I'd offer up to pay, though seriously
I'm actually broke, so if I offer to pay, just say
"No, thanks, you're way too sweet and also super attractive"
Would you stay with me, miss Misery?
If you don't like to hold hands, we could never
Don't even have to smile while we're together
Would you stay with me, miss Misery?
If you don't like to dance, then, I'll remember
Don't even have to be friends for forever
'Cause I like you and I don't like your friends
Let's make out just to say that it's pretend
Scream and shout 'til we get kicked out
And we find another house, so we can do it all again
I like you and I don't like your friends
Let's make out just to say that it's pretend
Scream and shout 'til we get kicked out
And we find another house, so we can do it all again
Just stay with me, miss Misery
If you don't like to hold hands, we could never
Don't even have to smile while we're together
Would you stay with me, miss Misery?
If you don't like to dance, then, I'll remember
Don't even have to be friends for forever, miss Misery