on the sunday after the mason dance
it’s the one day I can remember when
I felt so pure and really at peace with myself
I was in love, the sun sang down victorious
but the truth is I have no faith in happiness
it turns to fear, draws the devils near
so I jumped the fence
and went out west
abilene
got a sales job as a pharmaceutical rep
lived out of hotels, rental cars and a stowable bag
I drove all day – from hospital pacing and clinic sweats
I drove all night – I couldn’t ever sleep now anyway
I tried, but the old devils, they found me in my room
I hid under the covers and cried out as they tore off my sheets
so I went east
vietnam
I’m long gone
I’m up the river
way past mekong
but the old devils, they found me in my hut
they poured through the windows, they cornered me
and I cried out, to no one: “I give up.”