Big Legged Sally
Well hello Georges, well I'll be doggone! I hadn't seen you in a long time, man,
where have you been?
Well, you see, I've been hangin' around but eh... I ain't been doin' no good
Well you ain't been goin' to the right places man,
you must go to the right places, you know.
The right places is where I go!
Well... where's that? Where's that place you go?
And then... and then...
You know that big fat woman they call Big Sally? You-you know Big Sally?
You mean that - you mean that big woman with her chest hangin'
down below her knees?
Yes... that's the one I'm talkin' about.
Everytime she walks she kick herself in the chest.
Yes, I remember that.
Uh, well look friend, I tell ya - I tell ya what you should do for me. You
should sing a couple of numbers, you know, short numbers and then
I'll take the rest. You know what you used to sing?
What was - what was I used to sing?
Ah.. the one about... what Shakespeare wrote... you know: "Mama
move your false teeth papa wanna scratch your gums" or somethin'
like that you know - you understand, yeah. All right, now look. You
sing a verse and then I'll sing a verse.
Well early in the mornin', when I wake up in my bed...
That's it! That's it! That's it! Sing that one, yeah, that's good.
Or did you wake up, you know.
Early in the mornin' yes..
You sound like my mother-in-law, you know...
Yes when I wake up in my bed...
Scoobydoobydoo... that's it, that's it, yeah...
Yeah I don't have no money
You never did!
But I have the blues in my bread
No no li-li-listen what I'm gonna sing now...
I said big legged mama, take your big legs off of me
Well, that's good!
Yeah big legged mama, take your big legs off of me
Give me - you used to sing together a long time ago, you remember
that? I think it was, uh, eighteen hundred and one to one Septober
the sixth, you remember? Yeah... We used to really do it, you
remember? Yeah... Now-now look, now look... Nownownow le-le-le-
let's let this guitar player play it awhile you know. Cause he'll feel bad if
he don't play. Play it fella, while I drink - again...
That's the way he played before he got married! Yeah... Well after he
got married he didn't play that way you know...
Look out look out son! Now let the bass player play it a little bit here...
Play it son...
Shakespeare says "Man who play bass use fingers" - ain't nothin' else
he could use, you understand... he can't use his teeths 'cause he ain't
got none, you understand... yeah...
Well I'll be doggone, this is the best day I ever had since I've been
having had days, yeah!
Well loo-look I tell you friend, I'm sorry I have to leave you but - I have
to get on down to Big Sally's house because she got somethin' goin'
on down there you know. Why don't you come along with me, down
to Big Legged Sally, you know...
Well you see, I'd go along with you but uh... my money's very short!
Well you don't need no money.... all you need to do is sing that verse
you sung before. I-I tell you what you do you know, sing this number:
"Cocoanut Annie" you know, somethin' like that you know... Now
hear me say
I used to love you baby
I give you my money too
Now I'm gettin' doggone tired
Foolin' 'round with you
She drink three quarts of whiskey
Like you drinkin' lemonade
You drink one pint of gin
At night 'fore you go to bed
Bye bye, yes baby bye bye
Yes I see you mama
No matter babo babo babo babo -
- you know what "babo" is? Uh, "babo" is when the real modern jazz
fellers play and they close their number and he say, "baboo baboo
sayz who" but you haven't seen his sazoo you know but he say
"scooby dooby dooby" - when I say that then all of yours say "ohhhh
yesss..." I wanna hear it, all right? You ready now? All right now...
Wait - let me get a little drink here 'fore we close just wait - one
minute -
Hey Baboo Baboo Scoobee Doobee Oobleehooblee hoo hoo zoo bowwow hooo...
(all: Ohhhh Yessss....)
That's crazy! That's crazy...